Monday, February 2, 2009

I think I'm depressed

I've never been depressed in my life...even when I had things to be depressed about, but man, I feel just terrible. I STILL have morning sickness and the fatigue is brutal. This baby hates me or something. I am finding it hard to fake it for my kids and that makes me feel worse. I just want to lay in bed or on the couch and have everyone leave me alone.

Please...this has to get better...SOON!!

1 comment:

nancy said...

heya. I hope you get this, I know you don't keep this updated.

About my depression, I didn't really get it until Tom confronted me. I think I knew subconciously, but just trying to explain to him the whole "it's not you, it's me" thing, really made it hit home.

But even then I wasn't completely sure. When I got my appointment with my psychiatrist, I had to fill out this long questionaire. I saw the scoring method and scored it myself and looked up the codes associated with each one (I used to do medical billing and was familiar with the codes) and when I googled the codes associated with my highest numbers, depression was staring me right in the face. It all clicked and all made sense. Until then, I didn't realize there was something more wrong with me than I could handle myself. I tried for almost 2 years to "snap out of it", but it just didn't happen.

You hit on something too - how I just was trying to have an excuse for why I was so sad/tired/etc. pregnant, newborn, surgery, etc. All of those things can certainly slow us down, they didn't have to steal me completely. Believe me, with 3 kids I'm tired A LOT and look forward to bedtime, but it's no longer all the time. The laughter has reclaimed this household and it's GOOD.

If you aren't sure what you need, just try talking to someone. Make an appointment and just talk. That's the best place to start. And I'll be here for any questions you may have!